jreilly4261: (Default)
[personal profile] jreilly4261
I had the great fortune to see k.d. lang's Watershed concert last night at the restored and appropriately gaudy Fox Theater with my wife last night.    [livejournal.com profile] hippybear has a great review.  I agree 100% with his assessment and add only that I was laughing and crying throughout the night.

Before the concert, the wife and I shared a leg of lamb, a goat cheese mashed potato dish, and a mushroom sauce that were delicious, thanks to the skilled chef at Vin Rouge.  We attended the Watershed pre-event party hosted by The Inland NW LGBT Center, Inland Northwest Business Association, Odyssey Youth Center, and OutSpokane.  It was a lovely gathering with many familiar faces and some that were new to me.  A lovely gentleman named Steve, who previously found and returned my indispensable thumbdrive, and Bridget Potter, Diva of OutSpokane and other ventures, greeted us to check in.  Representatives from the four organizations, Cat Carrel, Marvo Reguinden, Sandy Williams, and Christopher Lawrence, respectively, made impassioned pitches for shared donations.  It was a very pleasant event.  They auctioned a signed Watershed CD for $500 and announced they'd received another $500 from the Pride Foundation.

Once we were seated for the concert, we found ourselves next to another male/female couple.  At a point in the conversation, the woman in the couple commented that she thought we and they were the only heterosexual couples at the pre-event party.  I was stunned and stupified.  It reminded me how invisible an important part of me is in my own community.  I know that. technically, heterosexual is an accurate term to describe our relationship as we embody different sexes.  But I'm pretty sure her comment was meant to communicate that the people in the relationships are heterosexual.  Hmmmm....

I saw a special on k.d. lang once in which she told that she had decided to not reveal her sexual orientation in order to support her stage/character presence.  Her act as an artist is to entice everyone in the audience regarless of gender.  A revelation of her personal life, could cause some of her audience to become disinterested or put off.  She engages each of us of every gender and sexual orientation.

I saw a shirt today online displaying "100% Bisexual."  This dispels several myths:
Bisexual people don't exist.
Bisexual people are part gay and part straight.
Bisexual people divide their attention between men and women in a measurable fashion.
Bisexual people are confused and don't understand their true sexual orienation.

In truth,:
We exist.
We are not partially or wholly gay or straight.  Bisexuality is a unique and valid sexual orientation.
Bisexuality is complex and not easily described by using ratios and percentages of attraction toward various genders.
We are certain about our sexuality, our social lives, and our attractions.  No need for confusion on our part.

I hate to wear labels, but I may wear this shirt, especially to lgbtqa events, in the future.  It may alleviate some confusion on the part of onlookers and save me some frustration.  It is, after all, a better brand than Wal*mart.

k.d. lang

Date: 2009-03-24 08:25 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
thanks for your words and i hope you guys had a good night.

i have seen kd lang several times and have noticed that the crowds are mixed and mostly gay but very diverse and friendly. i hope it's more about the music than about the sexual orientation and we could go above it and labels i feel are bogus as a whole and more harmful than good. i think like in miss chatelaine kd likes to play with sex as i think we all do. i hope you enjoyed the show and it was worth your while.

all the best, janina

Re: k.d. lang

Date: 2009-03-24 09:43 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jreilly4261.livejournal.com
k.d. was awesome. It is her music and her personality that make it such a great experience. I think labels can have positive and negative uses and I've been on both sides of the "argument" at different times ('no labels' mostly when I detested the term "bisexual" and didn't like other people pigeon-holing me). I have always, though, respected self-proclaimed labels around issues of sex, gender, orientation, ethnicity, race, etc.

I'm a strong believer in relativity where identity is concerned. I've met men with "girl parts", men who fuck men who aren't remotely gay, intersex people who have not designated a gender, people who believe our President can't be African-American even though his father was African and his mother was American, and people who accurately designate race as a false concept.

Since their are about nine factors which determine gender, the last and most definitive of which is self-identification, then gender, for me, falls on a spectrum of relativity. Sexual orientation is almost as easy to define as gender. After studying just my own family's genealogy, I've come to he conclusion that ethnicity is in many cases a guess and race is, indeed, a false categorization. Melanin content, eye shape, and inconsistent genetic anomalies are a poor basis for defining a race of a species.

What I'm getting at in a long-winded sort of way is that I generally agree that labels are for the dogs, except in the case of self-identification. People will always strive to define themselves and others. We need to move toward a social system of accepting everyone's self-identification or choice to not self-identify, and use that, rather than observation, to define people's characteristics. We can observe that someone has dark brown, peach, or yellow skin without jumping to any conclusions, except possibly about the condition of the drunkard's kidney.

That's all in a perfect world, but a boy can dream. [Insert MLK Excerpt Here]

Re: k.d. lang

Date: 2009-03-24 09:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jreilly4261.livejournal.com
And, janina, Thanks for leaving a name. :-)

Date: 2009-03-24 08:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] wandering-rangr.livejournal.com
Out of a general curiousity (and not out of any need to pigeon-hole anyone) is your lovely wife also bi?

Date: 2009-03-24 09:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jreilly4261.livejournal.com
While she proclaimed a desire to "switch teams" after experiencing the lang that is k.d., I'm inclined to think she's pretty "straight."


Date: 2009-03-25 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
hello joe ~ thanks so much for that wonderful review and reply. happy spring and all the best,

janina :o)

:) Hello Frustrated!

Date: 2009-04-02 08:24 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)

Be strong, those around you love you and support you and do understand your frustration. I have lost count of the times I have stepped up when people pop off without thinking or make comments out of ignorance.

Just be you, because we love you the way you are supposed to be - not the way others think you should be :)

~Shannon, Tracy, and the kids

PS - we missed kd lang when she was at Wild Horse! I was bummed.

Date: 2009-05-01 08:10 am (UTC)
ext_324991: (Default)
From: [identity profile] klitaka.livejournal.com
I'm sure you've heard the rhetoric before, but a lot of guys refuse to believe that bisexuals exist because many went through a phase where they were or claimed to be bi before they came out fully, so they tend to project their own experiences.

I do know that bi people exist, if only because my boyfriend is. The interesting thing is that I don't really care whether he's bi or gay; it doesn't matter -- he loves me and I love him, and that's all that really matters.

(Followed you here from twitter; I'm @roguecnidarian there)

Date: 2009-05-01 08:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jreilly4261.livejournal.com
Welcome. Thanks for the comments!


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